THE GIFT

The Gift: Rethinking What Really Matters

When most of us hear the word gift, our minds go straight to the usual suspects—money, presents, maybe a trip somewhere warm. And with the holidays approaching, it’s natural to start thinking about what we’ll give and what we might receive.

But recently, I found myself thinking about the best gifts I’ve ever gotten—the ones that stayed with me long after the wrapping paper was thrown away.

The Most Memorable Gift

One of those gifts came last year on my 60th birthday. Lisa and I had spent the day exploring Costa Rica and ended with dinner at a small restaurant near the water. Honestly, the day was already perfect. Then dessert arrived—carried by fifteen smiling staff members who burst into “Happy Birthday.”

After they finished and walked away, I thanked them…and then I cried. The moment felt magical. Not because a group of strangers sang to me, but because Lisa had quietly told them it was my birthday. That thoughtfulness—simple, surprising, given with no expectation of anything in return—became the best gift I could have asked for.

It reminded me that the most meaningful gifts rarely come from a store.

What a Gift Really Is

A true gift is a selfless act. Something done purely to bring joy to someone else. No scorekeeping. No silent expectations. No “you owe me next time.”

Just generosity, offered freely.

During the holidays, many families exchange presents. There’s nothing wrong with this—tradition matters. But sometimes the ritual becomes more about the material side: Did we spend the right amount? Did we match what someone gave us? Is someone mentally calculating whether they came out “even”?

No judgment—we’ve all been there. It’s human nature to compare.

But when we do that, we lose the heart of it all.

The Gifts We Remember

Think about the gifts that have truly stayed with you. Chances are they weren’t the priciest ones. They were meaningful because they were unexpected, thoughtful, personal.

Time. Effort. Presence. These are the gifts that last.

And here’s the beautiful twist: giving these kinds of gifts feels good. Our bodies actually reward us with a burst of feel-good chemicals when we do something kind for someone else. When we lift someone else, we rise a little too.

Rethinking the Idea of a Gift

Seth Godin talks about this in Linchpin. He argues that if we offer something with the expectation that the favor will be returned, it’s not a gift—it’s a transaction. A trade. “Future considerations,” as they say in the sports world.

That’s not the kind of life I want to live. Matching, balancing, keeping score—it’s exhausting, and it misses the point.  Pay for lunch or coffee.  Does it really matter if they don’t do it the next time?

Presence Over Presents

The greatest gifts we can give each other are the ones that cost nothing: listening without distraction, spending unhurried time together, showing up when it matters, offering kindness with no strings attached.

Being present will always outshine giving presents.

As the Holidays Approach…

Absolutely—exchange gifts, enjoy the tradition, have fun with it. Just remember that the gifts with the longest shelf life often cost nothing at all. They’re born from intention, attention, and love.

And tomorrow? I turn 61. I’m curious how Lisa might top that Costa Rican serenade. She set the bar extremely high—but whatever she does, I already know the best part is simply being with her.