Actions & Behaviors = Character
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
— Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
This famous quote from 1963 spoke directly to the deep lack of racial justice in our country. But it was also a call to action—a challenge for people to live out the behaviors and choices that lead us toward something better.
Character is a word tossed around by people from all walks of life, often to justify their actions. Yet we all know this truth: our actions and behaviors speak far louder than our words. People of high character demonstrate integrity, respect, and understanding not through what they say, but through how they treat others—especially when no one is watching.
I’ve grown weary of those who say one thing and then do another. Honesty and truth too often feel like punchlines rather than virtues we aspire to live by. Today, the ability to justify our mistakes—or to shift blame elsewhere—has become the norm. There was a time when we admitted we were wrong, apologized, and committed to doing better. That expectation has largely disappeared. “Nothing is my responsibility” now dominates our shared language.
Some will say I’m talking about our elected leaders. I’m not. Corruption on both sides has been normalized, and the system itself often sets people up to fail. Until we alter the system, we will continue to elect people who often will not choose to act with integrity and character.
So, what can we do?
We can put a better version of ourselves into our communities. It takes very little effort—and it can change everything.
1. Acknowledge people.
Greet others with a nod, a smile, and a simple hello. Many people feel unseen in the world. You can change that through small, intentional acts. This is especially important for those of us in the dominant culture. As a white man, I see it as my responsibility to help those who look different from me feel welcomed and valued in everyday interactions.
2. Practice empathy.
Put yourself in another person’s shoes. Imagine a day in their life. Ask yourself: Is there anything I can do to make things better? Cruelty has become commonplace, and in the process, we’ve lost sight of our shared humanity. All of us—regardless of political affiliation—need to choose kindness. If you believe cruelty exists only on one side, you’re mistaken. Set aside your biases and lead with empathy.
3. Improve yourself.
I spend a great deal of time studying leadership, and I’m convinced that no one becomes more complete or effective without honest self-reflection. Focus on how you can be a more productive, more compassionate member of your community. Psychology reminds us that we don’t truly change other people—we can influence them, but they must choose to act differently. The one person you can always choose to improve is yourself.
Dr. King’s speech—delivered more than 62 years ago—remains profoundly relevant. We should still aspire to something better. While we may never fully realize his dream, because hatred will always exist in some hearts, that reality is no excuse to stop striving.
All people want to be valued and seen.
All people want to feel safe.
All people want their basic needs met.
All people want hope for a better life.
Each of us has the power to make a difference by doing the small things, consistently. Your actions and behaviors will outlive your words. How you make people feel—that will be your living legacy.