When we listen to the words of a song with intention, music can become a powerful tool for reflection. I have always loved music! My wife calls me her little “song boy,” and I take pride in that depiction. I have been singing to her for decades—not well, mind you. It makes her laugh, and I have no problem embarrassing myself in the process.
One of my favorite things to do is have her put on an ’80s playlist on Spotify. As soon as a song comes on, I must identify the artist and title as quickly as possible. Most of the time, though, I just want to sing along. If I answer too quickly, she moves onto the next song.
One song that has been playing repeatedly in my head over the past few months is “Die with a Smile” by Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga. I never seem to tire of hearing it, not necessarily because of the melody, but because of the words. If you are deeply connected to and committed to someone, I think you will appreciate this song.
Here is my take on the lyrics and how they resonate with me.
“Where you go, that’s where I’ll follow”
To me, these words represent the commitment we make to someone we love deeply—someone we are willing to make sacrifices for without setting limits.
Have you ever packed up and moved across the country because the person you love wanted to? I have done it twice!
Twenty-one years ago, we packed up and moved to Oregon. Now, we are packing up again to return to South Dakota so we can spend more time with our aging parents. In the past, I have said that I would never move back. Never say never may be the lesson here!
We are going back. It was originally my wife’s idea, but I am on board and now excited about the move. Sometimes we follow our dreams, and sometimes we follow the people we love.
“Nobody’s promised tomorrow”
Why are we making this move? Because nobody is promised tomorrow.
In his excellent book The Five Types of Wealth, Sahil Bloom makes the point that if you see your parents once a year and they are over 80, you may not have many more opportunities to see them. That is a sobering thought.
I do not want that to be our story. I enjoy spending time with my parents and my in-laws, and I want to be a bigger part of their lives. Tomorrow is promised to no one. We never know when our clock will run out in this game called life.
Spend time with your people. Make the effort. Show up. You will never regret investing in the relationships that matter most.
“If the party was over and our time on Earth was through”
I love looking at life as a party. Think about how differently we might live if we truly viewed life that way.
At a party, you enjoy the company of others, laugh, tell stories, and, most importantly, create memories that hopefully stay with you forever.
Chip and Dan Heath wrote a book called The Power of Moments. Significant moments often shape how we measure happiness and the strength of our relationships.
So, who would you want at an important party?
When I left the education world a few years ago, I had the opportunity to invite the significant people in my life who lived in Oregon to a gathering. Over the previous 21 years, I had been incredibly fortunate to be included in the lives of some amazing people and to feel valued by them.
I wanted to bring those people together to celebrate the relationships we had built.
As you plan your next party, think about who you really want there. Do not focus on who you should invite. Instead, ask yourself who you would want to be there if it were your last party.
I was incredibly fortunate that everyone I invited was able to attend! Those special people showed up, laughed, and helped create a memorable evening for me. It is a gathering I will never forget. Each person invested a couple of hours of their life to spend time with me and the group. That may not seem like much, but time is one of the most valuable gifts we can give another person. Their presence meant more to me than they may ever know.
“I’d want to hold you just for a while and die with a smile”
One more hug. One more laugh. One more smile before I am gone.
I think about a hug that captures a sense of closeness and connection so powerful that you never want it to end.
In our home, we call a hug a Mississippi. I am not sure where that tradition began, but I do know that it means a long, connected hug. If you recite the letters in Mississippi one by one, it takes a little time. I think my wife is managing to squeeze multiple Mississippi’s into our hugs. I am not sure that should be allowed!
I plan on living for many more years. When I turned 60, I joked that I was halfway there. We shall see! What I do know is that I have been fortunate enough to build strong bonds with many people, and I am truly humbled by their friendship.
Finding peace
I think this song is ultimately about finding peace.
If you were gone tomorrow, would you be at peace? Have you invested in building strong relationships with the people around you? Who would you truly miss if they were gone? And just as importantly, who would miss you?
Would you be sad when someone you love is gone, or would you find comfort in telling meaningful stories about them? Would they do the same for you?
These are not always easy questions to consider, but they are important ones. They remind us that our time is limited and that the relationships we build along the way are what give that time meaning.
I hope we all live our lives in ways that enrich the lives of others. At the end of the day, perhaps the person with the best stories truly wins. But I think the person who has built the deepest, most meaningful relationships is the one who really wins in the end.
After all, when the party is over, it is not the things we accumulated or the titles we held that will matter most. It is the people we loved, the time we spent together, and the memories we created.
I hope the lyrics of this song remind us of all to keep things in perspective, invest in our relationships, and make the most of the time we have.
Spend time with your people. Create meaningful moments. Give a few extra Mississippi’s. And live a life that allows you to leave with a smile.
Die With a Smile
I, I just woke up from a dream
Where you and I had to say goodbye
And I don't know what it all means
But since I survived, I realized
Wherever you go, that's where I'll follow
Nobody's promised tomorrow
So I’m going to love you every night like it's the last night
Like it's the last night
If the world was ending,
I'd want to be next to you
If the party was over
And our time on Earth was through
I'd want to hold you just for a while
And die with a smile
If the world was ending
I'd want to be next to you