Challenging Zero Sum

Reframing the Zero-Sum Mindset: A Path Toward Shared Success

What does it mean when something is referred to as a zero-sum situation?

In essence, it describes a dynamic where one person’s gain comes at another’s loss. Picture two people sharing a glass of water: if I take 40%, only 60% remains for you. The total never changes—what one person gets, the other loses. Simple. Concrete. And, in certain situations, true.

But here’s the rub: life isn’t a glass of water. And many of the situations we treat as zero-sum aren’t fixed in volume. Opportunity, trust, creativity, collaboration—these aren’t limited resources unless we choose to treat them that way.

So why do we so often default to this win/lose mindset?

Is it a particularly American trait—part of the national ethos that valorizes competition, conquest, and being “number one”? Or is it something more ancient, more universal? Have humans always assumed that your rise must mean my fall?

A Learned Instinct or Human Nature?

Some would argue that zero-sum thinking is hardwired. After all, our ancestors lived in an environment of scarcity. If one tribe found the best hunting ground, another went hungry. If one person took more than their share, others got less. This was the math of survival. Zero-sum thinking may have once been a rational default.

But society has evolved. In today's world—interconnected, resourceful, and globalized—most of the things we care about aren't scarce in the same way. Empathy doesn’t run out. Neither does the capacity for joy, ideas, or encouragement. We have the potential to create more value together than apart. Yet many of us cling to the old model.

And maybe that's because zero-sum thinking is no longer instinctual—it's institutional. It's taught. Reinforced in boardrooms, locker rooms, media headlines, and even playground games. “If you’re not first, you’re last.” “There’s only room for one at the top.” “Nice guys finish last.”

It becomes more than a mindset. It becomes a worldview. But what if it’s the wrong one?

Why Should We Care?

#1: Zero-sum thinking undermines trust and collaboration—the lifeblood of any healthy community.

If I believe that your success threatens mine, then why would I ever cheer for you? Why would I share my knowledge, open a door, or offer help? That mindset makes teammates into threats, neighbors into competitors, and coworkers into adversaries.

In sports, we preach team values—sacrifice, unity, shared goals. But then we reward only the starters, the MVPs, the statistical leaders. If I’m a backup guard playing 20% of the minutes, why should I root for the starter who gets 80%? In a zero-sum world, I benefit when they fail.

The result is corrosive: teammates compete against each other, not just the opponent. Criticism becomes a strategy to elevate oneself by diminishing others. That’s not community—that’s cannibalism.

True collaboration requires a different equation: one where lifting someone else up doesn’t bring you down.

#2: Life is rarely as binary as “winner” and “loser.”

The job promotion example is a perfect case. Jose gets the position, and Karen doesn’t. At first glance, it’s clear: Jose won. Karen lost.

But life is complex. What if Karen wasn’t ready yet? What if that failure redirected her toward a path she wouldn’t have discovered otherwise? What if Jose, now in leadership, mentors Karen and accelerates her growth?

I lived this. After college, I didn’t get my first teaching and coaching job. At the time, it felt like rejection. But that so-called “failure” nudged me toward graduate school, a volunteer coaching role at the collegiate level, and invaluable mentorships. That detour ended up defining my future success.

In truth, many of our so-called losses are gifts in disguise. Sometimes not getting what we want clears the path for what we need.

#3: A zero-sum life is a lonely, suspicious one.

When we believe that every interaction is a transaction, we begin to guard ourselves. We withhold. We protect our ideas, our praise, our time. We start assuming the worst in others, even if they mean well. And in doing so, we cut ourselves off from real connection.

I’ve felt this temptation myself. I’ve competed in rooms that didn't need to be competitions. I’ve envied others’ success instead of learning from it. I’ve mistaken being noticed for being valued. But I’ve also grown.

Maybe age brings clarity—or softness. Maybe I’ve just had the right people nudge me toward a better philosophy: that a rising tide lifts all boats, and that giving others credit doesn’t diminish me—it defines me.

I’ll never be the richest person in the room. Maybe I’ve been taken advantage of at times. But I’ll tell you this: I sleep well knowing that I try to build people, not beat them. And I lead not by demanding loyalty but by earning it through collaboration.

Redefining Leadership for Today

In earlier eras, leaders were celebrated for strength, dominance, and control. They ruled with presence. They led from the front. Credit was centralized; decisions were top-down.

But the world has changed. Today’s challenges—complex, fast-moving, nuanced—don’t respond well to authoritarian leadership. They demand adaptability, shared vision, and collective problem-solving.

Today, the best leaders coach, mentor, and listen. They build trust instead of hoarding power. They grow people instead of merely managing them. They reject the zero-sum game.

Some might call that soft. I call it wise. And sustainable.

A Better Path Forward

Zero-sum thinking may still dominate many of our systems, but it doesn't have to dominate us. We can choose to believe that other people’s wins don’t threaten ours. That collaboration produces more value than competition. That empathy scales better than ego.

I don’t claim to have it all figured out. I’ve stumbled. I’ve learned. I’ve grown. And I’m still trying.

But if my journey has taught me anything, it’s this: seeing others succeed—especially those I’ve helped along the way—might just be the most fulfilling kind of success there is.

That’s not being naïve.

That’s seeing a world that provides space for all of us to realize our hopes and dreams.

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